Tuesday, 4 October 2016

Philosophical Ramblings #5: What is Love?

Love. Pyaar. L'amour. Die Liebe. Different words, same meaning. Love. 

Love has been romanticized by books and movies so much that most of us don't even know what it means anymore, myself included. Besides, I romanticize love myself, through my writing. But what is love, really?

I've been wondering this for a while now. Well, I'm twenty years old, and I'm not sure if I've ever been in love or not. I'd thought I had a few times, but as time went by, I'd realise that whatever I felt was either infatuation or puppy love or simply obsession - none of which classifies as real, pure love. 

So let's take a look at what media tells us love is. Here's a speech by one of my favourite fictional characters, Ted Mosby, on love:

This is one of those speeches that convinces you that love means never giving up or never losing hope or even never moving on, no matter what. 

Well, I disagree. That's bordering on obsession, isn't it? But this seems to be a common theme when it comes to sitcoms and rom coms. Never giving up. Take a look at another speech, this time, by Chuck from Gossip Girl:


"You don't give up... even if the object of affection is begging you to." That, my friends, is obsession, not love. When it's love, you don't give up... unless your love is hurting the other person. Love is about knowing when to step down. Knowing when to move on. Knowing that maybe that other person should be able to choose who they want to be with. 

But I do agree that forgiveness and second chances are what make up a good relationship. A good friendship. A good parentship (is that a word?). Because mistakes are part of daily life. Big ones or small ones, it doesn't matter. Forgiveness is essential. But you have to know where to draw the line, and that's something a lot of fictional characters don't get, like in movies or TV shows where characters fall in love with their rapists or kidnappers


Then there's this speech. Again, along the same lines of never giving up... but it's spoken of in a healthier, purer way. And I'll admit this is one of my favourite movies, so there's a little bit of a bias here, but I do believe in soulmates. I believe in lobsters. I believe in the One. 


I guess I believe, because I don't want to not believe in it. Because screw logic. Screw the truth. Deep down, a part of me knows there are many Ones. Many people I could be happy with for the rest of my life. 

But I also know that probability-wise, I'm only ever going to meet one of them. And that, my friends, will be the One. That will be love. 


In short, I don't know what love is. Because I'm a clueless twenty-something just like many of you Geeks. But I'd like to believe it's a give-and-take. A symbiotic thing. Something built on respect and trust and kindness. That, I think, is love. Whether it's romantic love or family love or even love for your pet - that is what I think love is.

What are your views on this topic, Geeks? What do you think love is? Let me know in the comments below. 

PS: I've recently started my own editing business, called Geek Editing. Go like the Facebook page now, and (if you live in Mumbai) apply for the internship here!

Swati